A Seperate Life with my Secret Love
by LizeeMK
Summary: This story is about a Jock Bella who needs a tutor, she takes Emmett's advice and phones up his big sis. What happens next, is Bella's skills gonna improve in more than one way, what happens when she starts understanding more than maths. I suck at summaries. This is my first attempt at a twilight fic and my other fic was a disaster so tell me what you guys think. To continue or not
1. Why not, just be me

**A Separate Life with my Secret Love**

This story is about a Jocky Bella who needs a tutor, she takes Emmett's advice and phones up his big sis. What happens next, is Bella's skills gonna improve in more than one way, what happens when she starts understanding more than maths. I suck at summaries. This is my first attempt at a twilight fic and my other fic was a disaster so tell me what you guys think. To continue or not?

This story will be all human. Bella has Rosalie as her sister and they stay with Rene and Charlie their aunt and uncle. Emmett, Alice and Jasper are Siblings and they are the children of Carlisle and Esme Cullen. Edward Masen is a friend of Bella's.

All the characters in this story belong to none other than Stephanie Meyer!

CHAPTER 1

'_**Love is two drifting souls, meeting and becoming more than they could ever imagine'**_

I am Bella Swan, I grew up in Forks, Washington. This place has all the memories, from my first step up to the first time I scored a goal. I can't believe how much things have changed, I joined the Hockey team when I was a Freshmen. Back then I was a thin clumsy kid with long mousy hair and no muscle at all but now as I stare at myself in the mirror I'd have to say that Hockey really changes a person. I've grown so much, I move my fingers along my body, first my arms, my muscles are rock hard and my veins show on both hands. Then I move down along my stomach, raking my fingers over my smooth, flat stomach and lastly I stand on my toes and I can see how my calf muscles have really come together. My hair is no longer a mousy color, but dark brown with blonde highlights. "Can't believe how we've grown" I whisper to my reflection. This year, my senior year, I'll have the privilege of calling myself the captain of the girl's first hockey team. A lot of things have been going through my mind lately, I mean being captain is a really big accomplishment but it's also a big responsibility. Last year I almost got kicked of the team because I was failing Trigonometry. So as you can imagine, I'm pretty excited but just as stressed.

Emmett Cullen is my best friend, he's tall and muscular. He's got short dark hair and you'll always see him sporting a vest, he doesn't believe in t-shirts at all. We've been practicing together since I started playing. He's helped me train, Emmett is the captain of the boy's first hockey team and also coaches the freshmen students, so we get to spend a lot of time together on the field. He's also dating Rose short for Rosalie, my younger sister. We are complete opposites, Rose is tall, thin and blonde. She's elegant and glides through life. Everyone wants to be her, she's beautiful, smart and caring. Which is a triple threat and it's needless to say that Emmett fights off guys and the odd girl on a daily basis.

I reach the door to my first class just as the final bell rings. My first class is English with Mr. Mason. I love English and that's why this class always gets me pumped for the rest of the day. English passes without a hitch and Government is always as interesting as you can imagine Politics to be. As the bell rings, I feel a sudden rush of panic, I start walking to my next class and do my breathing exercises, as I reach the class, I take a deep breath and walk in to take my seat. Yes you've guessed it, I'm in Trigonometry, the subject that could destroy my senior year. I take a few more breaths as I wait for the class to fill, Mr. Varner enters and we all take out our textbooks and so it begins, the make or break of my senior year.

Spanish slips by painfully, I can't concentrate, all I can think about is Trigonometry and how much I need to understand it this year. I daze off, thinking about solutions and the only solution I can think of is 'a tutor', yes a tutor is the answer to my prayers. The bell signals and I storm out of the class, I'm on a mission and I will accomplish it. I reach the lunch room and my eyes scan the room for certain familiar faces. They are seated at our usual table, I rush over.

"Hey Em, Rose. I really need you guys to help me. It's important." I say, before they reply I continue "I need to safe my future, I need a Tutor for Trig, you guys know anyone?"

They both just stare at me for a while, then Rose replies "Hey to you too sis. And as for your questions, yes we'll help but no I don't know anyone. How about you love, do you know of anyone?" she puts her hand on Emmett's leg and smiles gently.

He takes a while to reply, I guess he's really trying to find a solutions, he moves to look at me and smiles "Well I do know someone who can definitely help you Bells. You remember me telling you about my sister? She moved to Phoenix to look after my aunt while she was sick?"

I look at him, trying to recall "Yes, I remember you telling me something like that, you told me that she had to finish her senior year there and then decided to go to college in Phoenix."

He nods and then continues "Yes, she was studying teaching and photography, I know it's a strange combination. Anyway good news is that she's decided to move back to help mom with a big charity project, I'm sure she'll have time to tutor Bells."

I smile brightly at him "Really, would you ask her, I'll pay. I'm really desperate." He nods a yes to my question and I jump up and hug him "Thanks Em, you are the best friend slash big bro a girl could ask for"

He smiles and looks at Rose "Is she always this weird when she's worried" he turns to me and continues "You know I love you Bells but you're really freaking me out. I'll give you her number so you guys can talk but for now can I have my jock Bella back, this girly Bella's freaking me out" I punch him lightly on the shoulder and giggle "I need to be a little girly sometimes you know."

The rest of the day passes by without any panic attacks and as I walk to my car, I feel a arm on my shoulder. I spin around to come face to face with none other than Edward Masen. What can I say about Edward, he is "the guy" and he knows it. He has short light brown hair, he's muscles are mildly toned, not like Emmett's. His muscles are discreet and that's what makes him handsome. We use to date, last year in fact, but then I discovered my lesbian tendencies and well Edward was at the wrong place at the wrong time. He walked in on Leah straddling my hips, with her tongue in my mouth. That's really a bad way to end a relationship. I'm no cheater, just so you know, we were going through a rough patch because he had decided to run off to some strange island for three months. So I kind of took that for relationship over and had some fun.

Anyway, here he is, standing in front of me right now, with his usual sad expression "Hey Edward." He stares at me for a while before he holds out a piece of paper "Hey, I know this is a little awkward but Em asked me to give this to you. He had to leave early to go set up at the athletics field. He says he's lost his phone again." I take the piece of paper and thank him. He stalks off and I open it.

'**Hey Bells, here's her number +212 555 0123 .She should be here already. Have fun little one and I hope she'll be able to help.'**

I look at the number for a few moments, before saving the number under 'Em's Sis' seeing as Emmett forget the most important piece of info. I get in the car and decide to call her up as soon as I get home.

Read and Review! I need to know whether to continue or not.


	2. My MInd is all over the Place

_**Thanks for the follows and reviews, I'm still deciding on whether to actually continue. I know this idea actually happens a lot but I love the idea.**_

_**All the characters in this story belong to none other than Stephanie Meyer!**_

_CHAPTER 2_

I arrived home, deciding to phone her as soon as I finish my homework and lunch of course. I don't know why it's so difficult for me to just phone and ask a total stranger if she would mind helping me with my Trigonometry. I think I know why I'm trying to put this off for as long as possible, what if she thinks I'm stupid or just another jock her brother hangs out with, what if we don't get along or she just isn't interested. What if? I take a deep breath, rake together all my courage and dial the number before I find yet another excuse.

It's ringing, I shuffle around and fiddle with my fingers. Ring, ring, ring "Hey this is Alice Cullen, I'm not available at the moment. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you" Should I hang up, it crosses my mind but then I remember how important this is for my future and I decide to leave a message.

"Hey uh A…Alice, this is Bella Swan, one of Emmett's friends. He gave me your number, he says that you might be able to help me. I'm looking for a Trigonometry tutor. I'll call again later, have a nice day" I hang up, what was I thinking, I wasn't…that really wasn't formal at all. She's gonna think I'm an idiot, a hillbilly idiot.

I run to my room and fall on the bed, I keep replaying my message to Alice. At least I got her real name, Alice, Alice Cullen. Hmm I knew an Alice a while back. She was beautiful, small and very smart. We met at a party and one thing lead to another. By the end of the night I was on her lap, kissing her till the sun came up. Well that was in another country so I'm pretty sure this isn't the same Alice, can you imagine. I turn on my stomach and start texting Em

'Hey bro, totally screwed up with your sister, after… ' my phone starts ringing, it's Alice. I'm shocked and kind off excited. I take a deep breath and answer the phone. "Hey Bella speaking" I screech out.

"Hey, this is Alice. You phoned me earlier, Bella right?" I nod and then I remember that she can't see me "Yes it's Bella, I'm sorry for the message, it must be strange."

She's silent for a while and I start imagining this phone call turning into a soap opera but then she replies in a calm angelic voice "No it's okay Bella, I'm actually glad you phoned, I have a lot of spare time on my hands and won't mind helping you. If you'd like we can meet at the local diner and talk about it? When would suite you?"

I take a moment to think of a suitable time "Yes that would be great" I say a little too excited, what? She's gonna help me pass, I'm allowed to be excited "Anytime would suite me, whenever you're ready. Maybe tomorrow after school, then you have time to settle in. Em told me you arrived today."

She giggles "Yes sounds good to me, we can have a milkshake or coffee. I'll see you tomorrow Bella. Goodbye." I whisper a thank you and hang up.

So tomorrow then. I decide to erase my attempt at texting Emmett and throw my phone on my pillow. I wonder what she looks like, is she pretty or athletic. She has a beautiful voice, the voice of an angel and I think that suites her. She is my angel, my saving grace. I just hope it all works out tomorrow.

I slip downstairs for supper, greet my aunt and uncle and we sit and chat about my first day as a senior. They are really good parents and they always seem to know how to react to a situation. Don't get me wrong, they are really strict and I've been grounded a couple of times but all with good reason. When I told them that I was bi curious, they were very understanding and after months of battling with my sexuality I had to admit that I had no interest in being bi curious. I knew I was a full blown, lady loving lesbian. They were a little taken aback but still accepted me.

We chat for a while, before I make my way back to my room. And yet again I am plagued by what tomorrow might bring. What if I get there to early or too late? Or my car breaks or…Stop thinking like that, you're going to meet your future tutor not your future wife. Get a grip. With that I decide to think positively and as thoughts off Alice passes through my mind, I fall into a deep slumber.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Today's the day, I finish up in the bathroom, run downstairs and greet my aunt and uncle before grabbing my lunch and making my way to my baby. I know it's strange to call my car that but after my last relationship I'm pretty sure that I won't be calling anyone that, anytime soon. As I reach the school parking lot I notice Emmett and he seems really angry. I park my car and jog over to see what the commotion is all about.

"Hey bro, what you so angry about?" he snaps out of it and then looks at me "Hey Bells, i…it's Mr. Varner, I caught him! I caught him harassing a junior. He's such an asshole! What kind of man does that?" I gasp, what? Mr. Varner as in Trigonometry? Emmett looks at me, he can see what I'm thinking and continues "Yes Trigonometry, I'm gonna have him fired. See you later Bells, need to handle this first."

I'm so shocked, but I'm also happy. He was a shitty teacher, maybe a new teacher will mean I actually understand what's going on in that class. I stalk of to my locker and then listen to music while I make my way to my first class. So many things on my mind that not even music can drain out my thoughts. Just as I round the last corner I run into something, I fall backwards "the hell" I manage to say. "S…Sorry, here let me…" I hear a soft angelic voice say and as I look up, our eyes meet and she stops talking.

My mouth is hanging open, yes she is that beautiful, she helps me up and I'm actually at a loss for words. Me, Bella Swan, Captain Bella Swan, the most popular girl in school is at a loss for words. Before I embarrass myself I mumble a quick sorry to the perfect girl standing in front of me and almost run in the opposite direction.

When I reach my safe place, which is the girls changing rooms, I sit on the bench and try to forget the face that continues to flash through my mind. I look at the time, I'm so late for first period and I have no intention to actually go now. I need to clear my mind first, I run over to Coach McCarthy's office and ask her to sign a note saying that I had to train today. Being Captain has its advantages, I jog back to my locker, put on my training shorts and a tank top and then make my way to the hockey field, hockey stick and ball in hand.

I warm up for about 20 minutes before I do my laps around the field. Twenty paces full speed and then twenty at medium speed. I love being on this field, it helps me relax and I forget about all the stress and just play. I take a few shots and then I jog some more. Just clearing my mind, when I look at the time I see that lunch will be starting soon and I decide to text Em.

'I need a partner, hockey is no fun without someone to hurt' I giggle at the thought and actually send him the text.

The bell sounds through the buildings and as everyone scurry to the Lunch Room, I see a familiar face coming my way. He jogs up to me "Hey B, so why you out here?" I keep playing with the ball "Hey Bro, Just thought I'd get back into the routine and I needed time to think" He nods his understanding and we start hitting the ball to each other. That's what I love about Emmett he knows when to ask questions and when to just leave it.

When the last bell goes off, we jog to the locker room and say our goodbyes. I jump through the shower but not before getting a set time for my meeting with Alice. I scroll to her number and dial, it rings once before she answers "Hey Alice here" I really like her voice

"Hey Alice it's Bella, I'm just phoning to find out what time would suite you?" she sighs "How about we meet in an hour?" Why'd she sigh? I wait for a moment "Okay sounds good to me. See you in an hour. Bye" I hang up.

_**So that's it for the second chapter, I know the chapters seem to be dragging but just give it some time, it'll pick up and be more eventful in the coming chapters. I'll try to update soon**_


	3. Jaw clenchingly Beautiful

_**Hey my loyal readers, thanks for the reviews and follows. I know my story has a lack of detail but this is my first fic and the only experience I have in writing is what I have read. I'm a reader trying to make my idea come alive. If you have any ideas or you believe you can help me better this story then inbox me or review. **_

_**Alice and Bella have never met but Emmett has told Bella about his older sister. As for Alice's age in this story she is 21 and Bella s 18. I'm a South African so I have no idea how American schools work, but I do google a lot. So excuse mistakes or point them out so I can fix them.**_

_**All the characters in this story belong to none other than Stephanie Meyer!**_

_CHAPTER 3_

"_Hey Alice it's Bella, I'm just phoning to find out what time would suite you?" she sighs "How about we meet in an hour?" Why'd she sigh? I wait for a moment "Okay sounds good to me. See you in an hour. Bye" I hang up. _

After I hang up I make my way to the showers, I open up the cold water and get in. I stretch my arm and hold on to the wall, letting my head rest under the cold water, I let it sting my body. Have you ever felt like relaxing your body would let you lose your balance, I mean my habit is to clench my jaw and I do that without even noticing. When I do decide to relax, my jaw is the hardest part to relax and as soon as I get it to relax I lose sight of everything and just become so unstable. I feel my muscle tense up and decide to stop torturing myself, I finish up in the shower and get dressed. I decide to wear the same outfit I was wearing this morning and after drying and doing my hair I make my way to my car.

I still have 15 minutes to get t the dinner and I decide to rather be early than late. By the time I reach the diner I still have some time to spare. I text Alice

'Hey, I just realized that I have no idea what you look like. I'm at the diner.' I take a seat in the corner and wait for her reply, my phone beeps

'I'll find you' is all she says.

I order a coffee and my thoughts take over once again, out of nowhere a figure appears across from me, a little shocked I focus in on her face and gasp. She is so beautiful, I remember her from this morning. The girl that I ran into, it's her, the girl I couldn't face. The pixie like, fairy figured goddess. She has the most beautiful golden eyes and short spiky black hair. She's small and as I stare I have to withhold the urge to touch her.

She holds out a hand to greet me formally "Hey, I'm Alice Cullen, good to officially meet you." I shake her hand "Hey, Bella Swan, nice to meet you too." She smiles shyly and I feel a light blush covering my face. We order another coffee and get down to business.

"Well Bella we are here to talk about your Trigonometry extra classes" she says sternly.

"Yes, so would you be willing to be my tutor for the year, I'll pay you. I'm very focused when I need to be and I'll do whatever it takes to pass Trig"

"I am willing to help, but as soon as you start neglecting your homework or you don't show up for a class, it's over. As for payment, it's not necessary, you'll be part of my practical study. Agreed?"

I smirk and nod "Agreed, but I'm still going to pay, even if Em has to sneak it into your room"

She giggles and I see a light blush covering her face "Okay you win. You can take me out for dinner or a movie once a month then we'll call it quits"

I'm shocked by how forward she is and I'm sure she sees it on my face "What? I know what I want and what I don't want. And I think it'll be good if we can get along socially and professionally." She winks at me and takes another sip of coffee.

I am so stunned, I open my mouth to speak but close it again. I look at her for a moment "I agree, we should be friends." My heart is beating extremely fast and I fear that I might pass out soon. I'm clenching my jaw between sips of coffee and the pixie keeps smiling at me. I try to compose myself and eventually get my heartbeat to slow down.

For the first time since my parents passed away, I feel everything and nothing. Where'd this come from? I'm in limbo and I don't ever want to leave.

"C…Can I ask you something?" I stutter out.

She nods, 'Do you believe that one person can change the importance of your existence in a moment?' I think but this is what I ask instead "What were you doing at Forks High this morning?"

"I had to go sort out some drama, Em needed someone to calm him down. Mr. Varner got fired. Shit…Shit Sorry, you're not supposed to know that. Sorry." She seems nervous. "I'm gonna help out while they find a replacement" she finishes.

"Yes, I saw him this morning. He was pretty angry and told me about Mr. Varner. So you're gonna be my teacher and my tutor…" and my lover and one day you'll be my wife, I add in my head. I might be taking this a little too far but who cares. I'm allowed to fantasize.

We sit and chat for a while and then I'm stunned once more when she starts telling me about the real reason she moved back. "I walked in on her and one of my lecturers. I was so disgusted, three freaking years. Three years of loving her, caring about her and then she fucks my lecturer."

I see her eyes glaze and I can feel her anger growing. I squeeze her hand and she stares at me "Take a deep breath and relax. Stop thinking about it. It's over and she's gone."

"I know it's over, three fucking years." She stares out the window and takes a deep breath but her anger still remains.

I move to the seat next to her and take her hand. "Look at me" she turns to face me "I'm no relationship expert but I will say this, you are smart, beautiful and I can see that you're caring. I know that we've only just met but there's something about you, I feel like I've known you for years. Your ex was an idiot for hurting you and if I ever meet her I swear I'll kick her ass for hurting you."

I see her anger disappear and a small smile reaches her face "Please don't even bother, she's not even worth it. I'm done wasting my time on things that don't matter. Wait, you think I'm beautiful? Shit you think I'm beautiful." She has a light blush on her face.

She gets up and puts a $10 note on the table and then she looks at me again "I'm sorry for reacting like that, I shouldn't have exploded. I think it's best if we just keep our relationship professional, I really have to go. Sorry once again. Let me know about the days you'd like to have your tutoring sessions and then we'll set up some times." and with that said she turns and walks off.

What the hell just happened? Did I just go too far? I ponder this for a few seconds, I feel a ache in my heart and jump up to go after her.

_**Well there it is. Another chapter. Hope you guys enjoy **____** !**_


	4. I want her

_**Good Day my readers! What can I say, I'm shocked. So many follows! Thanks again for the feedback. I'm gonna try and get this story as far as possible while I'm away from the University but I can't promise anything.**_

_**All the characters in this story belong to none other than Stephanie Meyer!**_

_CHAPTER 4_

_What the hell just happened? Did I just go too far? I ponder this for a few seconds, I feel a ache in my heart and jump up to go after her._

I run to her and just as she's about to get into her car, I grab her hand. She turns to look at me and I can see that she's shocked. I push her up against the car and yet again all sanity leaves me. I have no words and I feel like my whole world is trapped, trapped in her eyes. It's strange, someone I don't even know just stole everything that is of importance to me.

I reach in to wrap my arms around her, I want to hold her, but as I get half way I force myself to pull back. She looks at me and I run a hand through my hair, can't she see that I'm struggling? I take a deep breath knowing that I need to tell her why she can't leave just yet, I look into her beautiful golden eyes

"You know that this only happens once in your life and now you're running like you've never wanted it" I put my hand over my mouth. Where the hell did that come from? I was going to apologize and then I say that. What does it even mean?

She keeps her eyes locked with mine and I can't help but want to stay like that forever. She takes my hand and brings it to her chest, holding it gently "I'm not running because I don't want it, I'm running because I need time to process this feeling, these thoughts. I don't know how this is possible and I need time." with that she kisses my hand and then my forehead, she stops by my ear "Goodbye my love" she whispers and I shut my eyes as I feel my heart skip a beat and when I open them she's already in her car pulling away.

WOW! WOW! That word, that feeling, those fingers…I can't seem to find a single sober thought. Nothing, I feel drunk and happy, she…she just called me her love, not love, not angel, not baby, but HER love. Hers, I know I'm really taking this up the wrong way and that she's probably called a lot of people that but it's mine now and I will do anything to be her love. I walk over to my car and just stand there for a few seconds, hoping that this wasn't a dream.

I get home and all I can think about is Trigonometry and lips and eyes and they are all connected to one body and feeling and I really need to sober up now. I take a cold shower and when I get back to my room I feel this wonderful feeling disappear, it's replaced by fear and sadness. What if she doesn't feel the same way? Wait what if she does? Where does that leave us? She's my teacher slash tutor.

I'm over thinking again, let's just get through this week and worry about her when the time comes. I flop down on my bed, I'm exhausted. What a long day. I stare at my phone for a few minutes and then I dial the number it rings a couple of times

"Hey Bella" he's voice makes me smile, I feel his excitement and it fills me again. The Cullen's really are filling my life and I can see her face in front of me.

"Hey Em, just phoning to say thanks for the number, I think the meeting went well. She said she needs time so I'll get the dates to her in a few days." I feel my smile fading when I realize that I miss her presence already.

"Nonsense B, I saw her face when she got home, she looked at me, started smiling, the first smile since she got here if I may add, then ran up to her room. You are so busted, what did you do you little player you?" yes my mouth is currently hanging open, I am so shocked.

"Really? I didn't do a thing, she got angry while talking about her ex. I comforted her and then she left." That was basically what happened if you just think about the highlights. I wasn't gonna tell him that I almost jumped her cause I needed to touch her. He's her brother, I'm not that stupid.

"Just keep telling yourself that, wait here she is now, hold on" I hear a rustling sound "Hey Bella" her voice just hit the spot and I'm high again.

"Hey Alice, I have to say that I prefer you calling me your love" I'm so high and I love it.

"She's blushing" I hear Emmett say in the background and I can't stop flirting "Mission accomplished" I whisper but she heard it.

"You're so cheeky, you know that right. And you need to finish high school and take me on a date before I can actually call you that again." I hear her giggle and the phone shuffles again

"Hey I'm back, you are such a devil. I know we're friends but I need you to know this, if you hurt her I'll break every bone in your body with a hockey ball" he says sternly. And I can imagine how much that would hurt.

"Okay Em, and I won't hurt her. We're just friend for now, so relax. Anyway I'll see you tomorrow Bro." He says goodbye and I hang up.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

My alarm goes off and I'm actually smiling, I never smile when I wake up. I jump through the shower and get ready for school. I jog downstairs, greet the family and head out. I reach the school with 45mins to spare and there are only three cars in the parking lot including mine.

I recognize both cars, one belongs to Mr. Banner and the other to none other than, yes you've guessed it, my sweet Alice. I feel my heart rate increase and my legs start moving in the direction of Mr. Varner's old class.

I knock and then let myself in, she's standing with her back to me, writing on the black board. I thousand ideas pop into my head, I want to walk up to her, push her up against that board and kiss her until the white chalk is all over her shirt. I don't though, I just stare at her back and then her ass, beautiful.

I clear my throat so that she knows I'm here "Hey Ali, or is it Ms. Cullen from now on?" she turn around a little surprised that I'm here "Hey Bella. Alice would be inappropriate but no one's here so it's okay." She gives me a small smile and leans against her desk.

And again I am haunted by my imagination, the things I could do to her against that desk. I shake my head and then I look at her again, or the things that she could do to me against that desk. These thoughts just keep swirling through my mind.

I try to find my voice again and before I do my heart and bottom lips start talking for me "Do you really think we can do this? I mean I'm standing here imagining you up against that desk moaning my name and…" I shut my mouth and stare at her, fear filling my eyes. She turns her attention to the clouds outside, shit!

"You know Bella, this isn't gonna be easy and we're probably gonna fail miserably but I think it's worth a try. These urges will cool down if we don't give in to them. I mean I'm your teacher now and we need to keep this professional. I think it's better…" she turns to look at me and I can see it in her eyes, I can see that she's struggling just as hard as I am "…if we keep our distance from one another, it's safer"

What? Safer, I don't want safe, I want dangerous and dirty and I want my tongue in her mouth and her head between my legs. I start walking over to her "Before you decide about safe and better, please tell me this…" I stop right in front of her, I slip my hand between her legs and move it up against her clit and before she can gasp I press my lips against hers.

She tries to pull back only once before she gives in to the kiss.

She wants this, I can feel it, I graze my tongue over her lips and she lets me in, I'm making out with my Trig teacher in class and anyone can walk in on us. I don't care, she's mine. She pushes me up against her desk and pulls away "Bella…" I put my finger over her lips, get off the desk and start walking to the door "Tell me later, tell me how that makes you feel, see you soon my love."

_**That's all I have for you for now, let me know what you think. Am I moving too fast or too slow? This story is missing something, do you guys agree or am I imagining things.**_

_**It's a long weekend here so I'll only be able to update on Tuesday but let me know what you think.**_

_**I'm out! Enjoy your weekend peeps.**_


	5. Wish I could have her right next to me

_**I'm back, thanks for all the reviews and follows, I appreciate them :D . This week might bring a few more chapters but I can't promise this every week. I go back to University next week and I still work too. My time is limited but I'll try my best to do at least one chapter at most three chapters from next week.**_

_**Okay so this story is gonna take a while to unfold, yes there will be teasing but I struggle with Lemons so it'll take a while before I brave writing that. I want it to feel realistic, I'm gonna try and add time lapses and see how that makes it flow cause up until now it's been a day to day story.**_

_**All the characters in this story belong to none other than Stephanie Meyer!**_

_CHAPTER 5_

_She wants this, I can feel it, I graze my tongue over her lips and she lets me in, I'm making out with my Trig teacher in class and anyone can walk in on us. I don't care, she's mine. She pushes me up against her desk and pulls away "Bella…" I put my finger over her lips, get off the desk and start walking to the door "Tell me later, tell me how that makes you feel, see you soon my love."_

The first two classes flew by, I couldn't concentrate. My mind was all over the place, I'm not planning on marrying the girl but I have to say that if that's the way our relationship could be, filled with passion and lust, then I'll have to admit that I'd go buy the ring right now and propose. I'm over thinking it, every person goes through this feeling, feeling like you're reaching out to something more, something wonderful and unknown and so new. I'm sure they call it love sick. I am, I admit that I am.

The bell goes off and I'm excited, excited about Trig, because a certain pixie is presenting the class. I stumble in and take my seat, I'm nervous, excited and oh my god am I so in love with her. To fast? My heart knows what it wants, if you meet an angel are you gonna let it drift away? Didn't think so.

I stare at her, taking in everything, this morning didn't leave any time to actually take in anything but her sweet lips. So now I'm actually looking and she is breathtaking, she's wearing a suite type outfit, black. Have you ever seen the L word's Helena Peabody well this is what she looks like, a knee length black skirt with a white blouse, her jacket is hanging over the chair and she's wearing heels.

She moves to sit on her desk and introduce herself. I gasp and feel every muscle in my body reaching for her but I can't, class is in session now and I have no idea what she's explaining but I'm focused, focused on her lips, the way they move when she speaks. Yes I know I make no sense, but I'm also sure that if you'd experienced this you'd know that it's really difficult to focus on anything but her.

I shake my head, I need to actually decipher her lips moving, I need to start focusing on her voice and what she's busy explaining. With a lot of effort I accomplish just that, imagining that's she's the librarian and that I'm not at all attracted to her seems to have done it, I don't look up, I just listen.

After doing the exercise she had given us, I start drawing little doodles in the back of my book. It's a rainbows and unicorns day today because that's all I draw. I start daydreaming and keep drawing whatever I feel. I'm wondering through my mind, I feel safe, I feel like I can trust her with my future, all of it. I continue drawing and just mellow out.

I'm so in thought that I almost fall off my chair when I feel a hand on my shoulder "Bella, are you okay? The bell jus sounded and you didn't make any move to leave" her voice is so sweet but I don't look at her, I stare at the page in front of me, it's her, I drew her, every little detail's there. She takes a step closer and she sees, she starts fiddling with her fingers and I know that this is way too much for her.

"I'm sorry Ms. Cullen. I just reached in to paradise and this is what I saw." I get up, I need to leave, I'm in the wrong state of mind right now. You can't go to paradise and then come back to a reality where she isn't yours without feeling a little unhappy. This feeling lingers and I start walking away, I need to walk away. She grabs my hand, but I pull away "I'm sorry Alice, I just need to calm down. It's difficult for me to accept this, this feeling of needing you when I know that there is no chance that you'll be mine anytime soon. I'll see you later. Call me if you need me." with that I leave.

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It's been two days, we haven't spoken. She's been texting me, but I have no idea what to say. I've been hanging out with Rose and Em and practicing most of the time. After school I'd change and do my laps, training only starts in a few weeks but I need it, I need something that helps me feel better. My math skills have improved, I don't look at her in class, I just focus on the exercises and understanding.

She's tried to talk but every time she reaches for my arm, I run. I run to the only place I know, I change and train until my muscle ache, until I have no energy left, until my brain is too tired to recall images of her perfect angelic face. It's been working, in the last two days, I've been struggling to walk and even eat but at least this pain isn't as bad as the pain I felt in her class, the feeling that she isn't mine.

The last bell signals and I make my way to the change room, when I walk in I see her, she's sitting there in a t-shirt, a pair of shorts and her white sneakers. I move closer to see that she's been crying "Hey Alice, what's wrong?" yes you are an idiot and yes you just asked that question.

She looks at me for a few seconds, she's trying to find the words, I can see it "Hey stranger, I'm okay…" she trails off and I can see that she's struggling "…wait no I'm not okay, you've been ignoring me. I know I have no right taking you on, because you don't belong to me and it's killing me. We both know that this is going way faster than it's supposed to and that neither of us know how to control it. You wanted me to tell you how that kiss made me feel? You moved mountains of sorrow with that small jester, you made me question the last three years, if you feel something that powerful you can't let go."

My mouth is hanging open, what the hell just happened? She just confessed and I'm not crazy. I just stand there staring, I allow my body and brain to soak up what just happened, I allow it to find the right response. I open my mouth to say something but she beats me to it, she takes my hand and puts it to her lips "I can't promise that this will work, that we won't fight or even that we'll always have this attraction but I want you to be mine, just mine. I know this is going to be difficult and we're going to have to hide this from the world but I can't take this emptiness anymore. Bella Swan would you do me the honor of being my girlfriend?"

**PAM PAM PAM PAM… haha didn't see that coming. Okay maybe I'm moving a little fast now but I need them to get together, the story is called a Separate Life with my Secret Love, meaning that they need to be together and the secrecy needs to start sometime. Let me know what you think. Enjoy peeps!**


	6. You Are Mine

_**Okay so the last chapter might have been a little bipolar. I am a little bipolar. I like tense and dramatic situations, I love when things unfold and I know that I wasn't crazy for feeling the way I do. Okay so let's see readers, if someone had to ask you out, what would be absolutely perfect for you? **_

_**All the characters in this story belong to none other than Stephanie Meyer!**_

_CHAPTER 6_

"_I can't promise that this will work, that we won't fight or even that we'll always have this attraction but I want you to be mine, just mine. I know this is going to be difficult and we're going to have to hide this from the world but I can't take this emptiness anymore. Bella Swan would you do me the honor of being my girlfriend?"_

WHAAAAAAT? My brain just stopped working, I'm so surprised that I freeze for several minutes. She never takes her eyes off mine. We stand there and I don't know what to say or how to respond, Alice Cullen just asked me out? Really that just happened. I know the answer but how do I actually tell her without it sounding creepy? I take a deep breath and almost whisper "Yes my love"

After I've answered she smiles brightly and jumps at me like a wild animal and I catch her. She wraps her legs around my waist, I stumble into a locker and find a bench to sit down. She's on my lap where she belongs, where I can protect her . We just sit there holding on to each other, just happy to be there together.

I have her, she's mine now. My heart is singing and my mind floating and it's safe to say that I'm on an Alice high right now. We both know we need to talk and Alice is the first to break the silence "That was nerve wrecking" I nod and she continues "You're warm and soft, it's different but I knew all this before" she giggles and I smile shyly, putting my head against her stomach.

"I really can't believe you just asked me out, I know there is a lot we need to discuss and the sooner we get down to it, the sooner we can relax" she nods "firstly you're my teacher and my best friends sister, we need to decide what we tell Em and Rose. What do you suggest?"

She kisses my forehead "Down to business, I am your teacher and no one can know that we are dating. Em and Rose is a given and I'm sure they already know what we feel and that it was just a matter of time. They can also help with the sneaking" she winks at me and continues "then no flirting when we're in public and I can't give you any special treatment." she smiles

"Okay agreed, so are you dressed for training or did you put on something more comfortable so it's easier to kick my ass?" I grin, she giggles at this "Maybe both, let see what you got on the field homey" we both burst out laughing.

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It's been a day and a few hours since we started dating and we've been texting none stop. We can't talk when we're at school and we only get a few hours after school, so texting has become our way of communication. I'm currently in second period and I can't wait to see her next, I'm busy doing an exercise. My phone vibrates

'Hey my love, I miss you so damn much. I get to see you next. You better behave ;) kisses.'

I'm smiling like an idiot, the bell signals and I almost run to my Maths class to see my love. I'm first to arrive, she looks up and I wink at her. She smiles and I sit down and just keep looking at the beautiful goddess standing in front of her desk waiting for the class to fill.

When the class settles she starts "Good Morning Class, I know it's Friday. I'm just as glad as you are. Shall we begin; today we'll be looking a…at well uh o…odd and even id…identities" she's stuttering, why is she stuttering. She staring out the window, did she just see a ghost? She's shaking.

"Sorry class we'll cover this next time, you're all dismissed" everyone starts storming out the class but I stay behind "What did you see?" I say impatiently

She puts her head in her hands and she seems really angry "It's Jazz, my ex, she's here."

"Indeed I am sweetheart." Her voice screeches through the class room. Somebody kill me please.

"I am not your sweetheart anymore. What are you doing here? Why did you come?" Alice yells at her

"I miss you, I'm taking you home with me. You really think 'd just throw away three years, we were good together" she strokes Alice's shoulder, I am fuming.

"Well you're too late, I've moved on and up. You threw away three years when you decided to take off your pants, you slut. Can't believe I actually trusted you." Her eyes are glassy.

"I'm sorry child but shouldn't you be somewhere else? I'm busy talking to my girlfriend" she gives me a stern look.

Now she's gone too far, I'm not a child "Firstly, she is your ex as in past, meaning I have more right to be here than you do. She doesn't want you here. And I'm pretty sure that she'd prefer my company over yours." I smirk at this, no w Alice just needs to agree

"Alice is that true? What is she? Your girlfriend?" we're both looking at Alice and I know that she can't tell her vermin of an ex the truth. I want to protect her but now I've actually screwed up.

"What if she is? What can you do about it? Get me fired, well go ahead, I really couldn't care less. I won't be going anywhere with you and yes it's true I would prefer her company over yours." Wait what? Did she just imply? High five baby! You're the best. I look at Jazz, she's just as shocked as I am.

I look at Alice again and she gives me a small smile "Come on Bella, let's get going, you have lunch now and I could do with something to eat." I nod and we walk to the door, closing it behind us and leaving a stunned Jazz to her own thoughts.

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When the last bell signals, I make my way to Alice's class and as I walk in, I feel my heart beat increase and my palms start sweating. She's sitting on her desk, her hair is a mess and she's staring at the floor. She looks really beautiful.

I clear my throat "I spoke to my aunt a couple of weeks ago, I'm 18 and I think I should be on my own" she seems confused "I mean I'm moving out of the house, I wanted it to be a surprise. I inherited some money, so I think it's time. I found a three bedroom modern house in the woods, it's 10 minute drive. I bought it before you came to town. I'm moving in there as soon as school holidays start. " She looks a little surprised.

"That's good Bella, why are you telling me this though?" she keeps searching for the answer but she knows what I want.

"It has a studio for your designs" I say this with a smile and she just stares at me.

"It's too soon, can I think about it though?" I nod "You can have all the time in the world" she smiles

"Thanks for everything with Jazz today, you did really well. You stayed calm while I was exploding. I'm really sorry about her."

"It's okay, I'm a tough girl and I protect what's mine" I give her a wink

**Okay so this was Chapter 6. I don't think it was any good though. So read and review! Enjoy peepz**


	7. Feeling her

_**Hey peeps! Well I know I've been missing for a while. Life's been happening and saving my own relationship was priority number one. Sorry for the wait**_

_**All the characters in this story belong to none other than Stephanie Meyer!**_

_CHAPTER 6_

"_Thanks for everything with Jazz today, you did really well. You stayed calm while I was exploding. I'm really sorry about her."_

"_It's okay, I'm a tough girl and I protect what's mine" I give her a wink_

When we get back to my house, we sit down in the lounge and I take out my Maths textbook. My Maths has really improved and I don't need tutoring but I would do anything to spend a little more time with my Ali. We go through the work for a while and Alice knows that I don't need these classes anymore, but I guess she feels the same way I do.

"Ali, we both know that I don't need these classes. I just like spending time with you. Seeing that you're here why don't you help me pack. Holidays are coming up and I need everything packed and ready. Have you thought about my invitation?" I look at my lap waiting for the reply.

She takes my hand "I love spending time with you, I'll help you pack and then we can talk about moving in together. Let's just get through the first month before we take a leap like that, okay love?" she puts a finger under my chin and lifts my eyes to meet hers.

We stare at each other for what feels like hours, she's smiling at me and I'm lost. She moves forward and just as her lips reach mine we hear the front door open. We half jump apart and continue with the tutoring.

"Hey girls, how's the tutoring going?" my aunt smiles at us.

"It's going really well Mrs. Swan, Bella's grades have gone from an F last year to a B+ in a matter of weeks." Alice smiles brightly back at her "Yes, Rene she's really a good teacher."

"That's really good Bells, why don't you girls take a break? Tea girls?" we both nod and she continues "So Alice, Bella tells me that you're a photographer as well as a teacher. She also tells me that you guys have become real good friends. You know Bella is moving out, do you think she'll be okay on her own?"

"Yes Mrs. Swan, we have become really close. Bella told me about the move, I've only known her a couple of weeks but from what I've seen Bella is a very responsible and intelligent young lady. I believe that she wouldn't just jump into a decision like this without thinking it through." She gives me a small smile.

"Thanks Alice, I really appreciate your opinion. I trust that our little Bella will be just fine." She serves the tea and we sit and chat for a while longer. My Aunt invites Alice to stay for dinner and Alice accepts. "Well girls, I'm off to the kitchen. I'll call you when dinners ready." She leaves and we make our way to my room to pack.

She shuffles around my room, looking around for interesting little objects here and there. She's wearing this cute little smile and I can't help but stare as she investigates. After a few minutes, she takes a seat on the corner of my bed and my demon returns. What I'd do to you right now if my aunt wasn't down stairs. I walk over to her and stand between her legs, she's looking up at me and I can see the want in her eyes.

I put my hands in her hair and lean down to claim her lips, they're so sweet and soft and wanting. I deepen the kiss and push her to lie down as I straddle her hips. Our tongues wrestling for dominance and I can feel my core moistening. I grind against her and we get into a rhythm, soft moans escape every few moments. We break apart to catch our breath and I busy myself by unbuttoning her pants. I know this isn't right, my aunt's downstairs, but it makes it such a thrill and honestly I couldn't have said no to those eyes anyway. We start kissing again, but this time it's harder, lustful and I can't help but put my hand down her pants. We're both panting and moaning. Just as I'm about to reach her 'treasure', some knocks on the door.

"Hey Bells, can I come in?" Rosalie chimes outside my door. I take a deep breath, we break apart and Alice moves to sit against the headrest while I sit on the edge of the bed.

"Yes Rose, you may enter my dungeon." Alice giggles as Rose enters and smiles

"Hey Alicat, so what you guys been up to?" I can see that she already knows the answer, she wants us to admit it.

"We've been wrestling, you know Alice really has good form and she really knows how to get me worked up" I wink at Alice and she blushes lightly.

"Wrestling you say, I'm sure Alice got those moves from Em, so I have some idea of what you mean. Anyway I just wanted to see your guilty faces. I'm off again." She leaves the room giggling like a two year old.

I give Alice a soft smile and lean forward to kiss her once more but a voice echoes through the house "Girls, supper is ready" we head down to the table for dinner.

Dinner went by without a hitch, both Charlie and Rene have taken a liking to Alice and I couldn't be happier. After dinner we say our goodbyes and I walk Alice to her car. "I'll be right back" I singsong and run back to the house. When I return, I have the keys to my baby. "Can I go show you something?" she nods and I take her hand.

We get to a dark driveway and I press the remote button, the gate opens and we drive in. It dark out so not much of the house is revealed but it's not the outside I've come to show her. I pull her out the door and pick her up, I carry her to the door and press a button, it pops open and we go inside. It's mostly empty, there's a leather lounge suite and a few little ornaments all over.

"It's not much yet, but this will be home in a couple of weeks" I put her down and she seems surprised.

"It's a really beautiful house Bella. It's a little rough around the edges but it suites you." She walks from room to room. I can't take it anymore, I'm reaching breaking point. She's halfway down the passage and my animal takes over.\

I push her up against the wall and kiss her fiercely, I need to feel her. I need her body against mine. She takes a second to adjust to her position but when she does she kisses me back. I wrap her arms around my neck and lift her off the floor, she wraps her les around my waste and we slowly start moving to the lounge. I slowly move to put her down on the couch but she pulls me forward and we both slam onto the couch. "WOW, calm down my lil pixie…"

_**Well there it is folks, hope you enjoy it. **_


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